NC’s Guide to Being a Bookworm

Hello, greetings, and all that.

This is just a little fun weirdness. Also, I, the esteemed blogger that I am, also write book-like things sometimes. *gasps from the audience* And I think it’s high time some of that got posted on here. So, be on the lookout for a short story/serial I’m cooking up, just for you guys. It’s got Duels of SnarkTM, magical potions, and maybe running from the law you never know.

Now that I’ve announced that, on to something that has absolutely nothing to do with it.

*triumphant kazoo noises*

NC’s guide to being a bookworm!!!

1. If you only have 200 pages left, and you were supposed to be in bed 30 minutes ago, it’s fine. You can finish that book. Time actually warps when you read, so it’s scientifically possible that you could read enough to turn back time to the time you were supposed to be asleep. You will only know if you finish that book though, so keep reading!
2. See that random background character? She’s your favorite now. Cry tears for her. She may never show up again, BUT HEY. She’s your favorite and there’s nothing you can do about it.
3. See that emotionally traumatized villain that the world and the author both seem to want to crush? They’re your favorite too. “Two favorites? Is the villain or the random background character my favorite?” you ask. Yes. The answer to your questions is yes.
4. Bookshelves are cool. But if you can fit all your books on one bookshelf, you clearly do not have enough books! So you must be as resourceful as possible to store your books. Floor? You can put books there. Bed? You can put books there, too. Chairs? Yup. You may never be able to sleep, sit, or even just take up space at all in your room anymore, but look on the bright side. You’re one step closer to having a library like in Beauty and the Beast.
5. How are you going to acquire all these books? Honestly, not even I know. The mystery of how the pile of books keeps growing confuses even the greatest of bookworms. But I can tell you one thing: if you go into a bookstore for “just five minutes,” you will definitely get closer to your goal.
6. Remember, the best thing you can do when you read an emotionally traumatizing book is to take a few deep breaths, get over it, and move on with your life get your friends to read it so you can roaST IN THE FIRES OF YOUR TORMENT TOGETHER!!!!! YESSS SPREAD THE SUFFERING!!!
7. The only thing that should be bigger than the pile of books that don’t fit on your shelves is your TBR list. It is like a mighty dragon and you are simply a tiny marshmallow it shall toast. You can never defeat the TBR list.
8. Take a moment to look around the room. Everything you just laid eyes on is a bookmark. “You’re kidding,” you say, but NOPE. That calculator? BOOKMARK! That spoon? BOOKMARK! A cat? BOOKMARK! ANOTHER BOOK!? ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!
9. Now begins your endless quest to find a reading position that is actually comfortable. Go forth, my young apprentice, gather the forces of the pillows, the blankets, and the couches. Defeat the evil that is trying to read a huge book while laying on your back. It makes my arms shudder just to think of it.

There you go, poof, wisdom. I should really be a mentor character, not a super villain. Of course, I’m not really in the mood to die dramatically today, so we’re gonna stick with the whole “taking-over-the-world” thing.

Next week, I’ll be doing the Sweet Tooth Tag! Yay! Guaranteed to make you hungry!