*British nature documentary narrator voice* The bookworm is usually a reclusive creature, and can often be mistaken for a normal human, a tree, or a bowl of spaghetti. If you want to spot one, you have to know what you’re looking for. On a similar note, if you mistake anyone for a bowl of spaghetti, you probably need glasses.
So, here is a short list of some bookworms you may see. Please keep in mind that bookworms are an endangered species. Not that they’re dying out, but they may endanger you if interrupt them while they’re reading.
- The binge reader. This reader may be the most dangerous of all, because can devour a entire book in one sitting. Never underestimate their power, as they are incredibly fast, and even books they don’t enjoy won’t slow them down. They just finish it all within a day and move on to the next book.
- The multitasker. One can usually spot a multitasker by how many books they’re carrying. If there’s drowning under all the books they’re started, they’re probably a multitasker. Some multitaskers only read a few books at the same time. Some read 14, while simultaneously rereading their favorite series and listening to an audiobook on and off. They are truly frightening to behold.
- The audiobooker. Never, EVER say “it’s not really a real book though” around an audiobooker. It is a real book. Audiobookers can be difficult to spot in the wild, as they are usually wearing headphones and could be listening to music for all you know. However, don’t give up on your quest to find a rare audiobooker. They are more plentiful than you know. In fact, one could be sneaking up behind you right now…
- The alternative reading spot enthusiast. In contrast to the audiobooker, these readers are almost impossible to miss. If you see someone reading in a tree, on a roof, sitting on the floor, or inexplicably defying physics and sitting on the wall, that’s an alternative reading spot enthusiast.
- The one with a cat. The cat is sitting on the book. They’re trying to read, they really are, but all they can see is the CAT. The cat is having a good time though.
- The editor. This person is reading their own book. Probably also grimacing. There is more red ink than story at this point. Help.
- The daydreaming one. Their book is open, their stare is directed out the window, and their focus is somewhere else.
- The zoned out one. This reader may be confused with the Daydreaming One, but the Zoned Out One is still under the impression that they’re reading. Eventually they will realize that they’re reading the same three paragraphs over and over and they have no idea what they say.
I hope this is helpful in identifying the rare bookworms of the world. Which one are you? Are there any I forgot to mention?