It’s More Scratch Paper

I have the memory span of a guppy, so if I want to remember anything longer that four seconds I should probably write it down. Which is why I have “scratch paper” documents, where I write down unrelated thoughts that I probably won’t ever do anything with but don’t want to forget. Last year, I made a post about these absolute genius thoughts (like “mirrors?” Stroke of genius.) but guess what! My brain is still marginally working, and I’ve had more thoughts since then! Amazing, I know. So welcome to a Word document called “it’s more scratch paper.”

Here we go!


Things writers say:

“I hate my WIP so much. If it was on fire, and I had the last glass of water in the universe, I would drink it- no- pour in out of the ground!”

“I love writing. If I didn’t write, I think I would just go insane. Like, last night, I downed a cup of coffee and wrote 4k and I’ve never felt so alive.”

“I had a really productive day. No, I didn’t write anything, but I did make playlists for every character I’ve ever daydreamed about, and I have 14 Pinterest boards about books I’m totally going to write one day.”

This is a direct attack on myself and I don’t appreciate it.


Matrimonial partner, please disclose the location of the article of clothing intended for the lower half of the body, which belongs to me. 

My brother and I were trying to make “honey, where are my pants?” the iconic line from The Lego Movie (2014) as wordy as possible.


So, how do archaeologists know that the bones they found belong to the same dinosaur? How can they say for sure that they’re grouping them together correctly? Like, is there any way to know that all the dinosaur bones they’ve found don’t belong… together? My theory is that every dinosaur bone ever found belongs to one Dinosaur. The Great One.

Dinosaurus Rex.


Goin outside after a rain……. lookin at dewdrops on the weeds……. findin a cool rock, picking some flowers…. that’s the stuff

This was ghost written by a frog.


Oberon, to Titania: wake when some vile thing is near

Botton: tHaT’s mY CuE!

A Midsummer Night’s Dream, 1600


Oh, you’ve painted yourself into a corner? I’m no interior designer, but I’m pretty sure you weren’t supposed to paint the floors??

Just sayin’.


Hello I’m auditioning for the part of Montresor and I’ll be singing Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish.

Stop booing me, I’m right!


Imagine if all animals hunted like the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park. Always hungry, going after the most inconvenient prey even when there’s easier stuff to catch, and never giving up. Like, you’re just minding your own business when a duck that saw you at a park two days ago just comes s p r i n t i n g at you with murderous intent. What a terrifying world.

I apparently think about dinosaurs a lot.


And finally, the best poem I’ve ever written:

I have written a poem about my cat:

She is soft

She is fat

She is cute

She’s a cat


And that’s all, folks! I hope you guys are staying safe and healthy (OR I will have to personally come to your house and make yOU A CUP OF TEA AND COVER YOU WITH A BLANKET!!) , and I’ll see you in a couple weeks!

4 thoughts on “It’s More Scratch Paper

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